For My Broken Heart
by Greyhawk750
Summary: A one-shot "spin-off" from This Is My Life. Joey returns to Los Angeles after the funeral. Read 'This Is My Life' first


The flight from New York City to Los Angeles seemed to take forever, as Joey was glancing out of the window from his First Class seat. His lunch which was sitting in front of him on his tray had gone cold, and he just picked at it with his fork. For the first time in his life, Joey didn't have much of an appetite. He tried to wrap his brain around the fact that Monica was gone and was never coming back. It still has not really sunk in that this was for real. The flight attendant came by and asked if everything was ok.

Joey wanted to scream out 'No, everything is FAR from ok'. But instead he just nodded as she asked him if he was finished eating, and Joey simply handed her the tray and she took it to the back, to dispose of it. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be feeling, but he knew he was feeling pretty bad. But he also knew that despite how bad he was feeling, it was nothing compared to how Chandler must be feeling. He felt bad for having to leave his best friend and head back home, but deep inside he was almost happy... and he hated himself for feeling like that. He loved Chandler and the rest of the gang, but he couldn't stand to see his friends in that much pain. Everything was a constant reminder of how Monica was gone and never coming back.

What could you say about Monica that would somehow help you cope with the loss? Could you say she had a good and long life? Could you say it was her time? After all, that's what Joey's father said at his grandfather's eulogy... but those things could hardly applied to Monica, a person who was taken well before her time. He knew there would be no easy answers, and there would be a hole in their lives for a long time to come. 'It should have been me', Joey thought to himself. After all, Monica had a family...her husband of 5 years, and a son to think about. Joey on the other hand, had only himself to take care of. But deep inside he knew Monica would not want him thinking such thoughts and knew this was something she would not even wish on her worst enemy, much less her best friends. That's the kind of person Monica was... caring, loving, and selfless, and always putting others before herself.

The airplane eventually landed, as Joey got out of the chair and made his way to baggage claim, as a few fans clamored around him, wanting an autograph. Joey usually relished and basked in the attention that came with being a huge international movie star. But today, he didn't want any part of it, and just waved them away and he hurriedly grabbed his bag, as security escorted him to his Porsche which was parked in the garage. He left the airport and just drove blindly around town, in a blur. Eventually he found his way to a local park, as he cut the engine off and just sat there for what seemed like hours, watching the people come and go. Joey had it all... money, fame, prestige. But he would have traded it all, in exchange for just one more day with Monica. To say what he could have said, when she was still with them, but never did. To tell her how much he admired her, and how he was happy to be her friend.

He was so happy when Chandler announced they were getting married as he knew how much Chandler wanted somebody to call his own. While Joey came home with a different girl every night, Chandler slept alone. But if he was jealous, he never would show it. He even cooked them breakfast many a time. He remembered how hard they tried to have a baby, and how devastated they were when they learned it may never happen for them. They were even more devastated that even though they were put on the adoption list, the telephone never rang.

They began to think that perhaps they were never meant to have children, until Monica went to the doctor to complain about a stomach virus, and was given the news that she was pregnant. To say they were overjoyed was a severe understatement, and 9 months later a healthy baby was born. Life was good.. perfect you could say. But life as it turned out, could be quite cruel and now left Chandler and everybody else to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart.

That's when it hit Joey that this was for real. Monica was really gone, and never coming back. And then Joey did something he didn't do, since he was 9 years old. He cried. He cried for Monica, Chandler and for those who would never see her again.

_We used to laugh  
We used to cry  
We used to bow our heads, then wonder why_

But now you're gone  
I guess I'll carry on  
And make the best of what you've left to me  
Left to me, left to me

I need you  
Like the flower needs the rain  
You know I need you  
Guess I'll start it all again  
You know I need you  
Like the Winter needs the Spring  
You know I need you  
I need you

And Everyday, I'd laugh the hours away  
Just knowing you were thinking of me  
And then it came, that I was put to blame  
For every story told about me  
About me, about me

I need you  
Like the flower needs the rain  
You know I need you  
Guess I'll start it all again  
You know I need you  
Like the Winter needs the Spring  
You know I need you  
I need you

I need you  
Like the flower needs the rain  
You know I need you  
Guess I'll start it all again  
You know I need you  
Like the Winter needs the Spring  
You know I need you  
I need you  
_-America -_


End file.
